Well, I guess were like that.  I am, AGAIN, declaring a cold war to my dad.  They say that it is a tough stage, that I’m getting matured enough to aspire to be independent and my dad is getting old and can’t understand me anymore.  It’s been two days that we were not talking.  Well, if you’re going to ask why, the answer is I don’t know.  I can remember that it was just a “petty” issue but being a sensitive dad, it resulted to cold war.  Yes, my dad is very sensitive and emotional especially now that he’s getting old.  It just made me realize how time passes by so swiftly.

                When I was a kid, I’m very close with my brother.  It was in the morning until night that we’re together and my parents we’re always away to work.  So we’ve made a strong bond as sibling and I sometimes acquired the attitude of being ‘boyish’.  I would like to share that I’m afraid of Barbie dolls.  Yes, it’s right!  When I was a kid I’m attracted to toy cars, action figures, NBA cards, MAGIC cards, and video games for boys (mostly boy stuff).  (I still have my Transformers action figures, Ferrari collectible cars, etc and my brother told me to save it because time will come it will be worth a million.)  But in contrast, I’m collecting porcelain dolls and NOT BARBIE DOLLS.  Next person close to me is my dad.  Well, I’m quite aloof with my mom when I was a kid.  Why?  The person who brings me to school is my dad and sometimes my brother.  And maybe the reason why I’m a little bit boyish is because I’m always with my dad and my brother.  When I was in elementary, I never experienced fancy hairstyles (like braid) which made me a little bit insecure with my classmates.  Why?  I said awhile ago that the one who brings me to school is my dad.  Unfortunately all he can do to my hair to look neat is by using a headband.  HAHA!  So imagine everyday I’m going to school having the same hairstyle - headband!  I learned to fix my hair when I was in Grade 3 and the one who taught me was my brother.  HAHA!  It was in my high school years that I finally became close to my mom.  During those years I became aware of being a “woman” and the only one who can help me is my mom.  But I don’t have resentment to her, it’s just that I’m a daddy’s girl before.

                  Me and my dad started bullying each other, which was meant as a joke, when I was a kid about 8 yrs. old.  He had these jingles which were made to intimidate me and I will start thinking of a jingle as well to intimidate him.  And then I can remember that we have our own game.  I can remember too that whenever there’s a baby who looks at me and smiles at me he would say, “Sigurado Laks matuwain sa unggoy yung baby!”  Then, we’ll start hitting each other and laugh.  Since we don’t have any yaya, because of my traumatic experience, my dad sometimes takes me with him.  We always eat at Jollibee and the most famous food before was CHICKENJOY.  I cry for CHICKENJOY and my dad will give-in to make me stop.  We are that close!  If my dad doesn’t look old during those days people might think that we’re siblings.  But time passes by so quickly…

                My dad is old and I’m a grown-up LADY.  We are still bullying each other, of course as a joke, but sometimes fights can occur.  I may sometimes think that he’s joking when in fact my dad is not.  He is now emotional and sensitive so I have to be sure that my actions will not hurt him.  He sometimes reacts too much whenever ‘this certain guy’ is getting my attention.  I think that he’s somewhat jealous because, like I said, I’m a daddy’s girl.  Well, my brother says its part of growing old.  Personalities change and we are the ones (the kids) who needs to adjust because we are the ones who are capable to do it.  Sometimes he doesn’t understand me and sometimes it is me who don’t understand him.  BUT… EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE TIMES THAT WE FIGHT EVERYDAY, WE GET MAD AT EACH OTHER, WE DON’T TALK TO EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF THESE FIGHTS, AND WE ARE NOT IN GOOD TERMS, I KNOW THAT I STILL LOVE HIM SO MUCH.  I KNOW THAT HE CARES.  I CAN STILL FEEL IT EVEN IF WE’RE NOT TALKING.  That’s how powerful the parent’s love is.  That’s how powerful my dad is.  He always makes me cry more than my boyfriend does.  Honestly, after we fight I cry and I know he cries too.  I can feel it!  But sometimes, pride gets in the way.  I won’t talk to him unless he initiates.  I’m pretending to be strong even though deep inside I’m praying that he will start talking to me.  If I can turn back time and I will be given the chance to choose my dad, I WILL STILL CHOOSE HIM BECAUSE HE TAUGHT ME LIFE’S LESSON THROUGH EXPERIENCE.  Yes, I’ve experienced many things and I learn from it.  From this relationship that we have, I learned and there is still a connection between us.  We may be like this but if you can see how our emotions work well, it’s amazing.  Even I can’t understand it!  And I’m thankful of whatever relationship we have because in that way I can understand him.  Ironically, it is when he’s mad at me that I came to understand what he wanted to say or show.  And I love it!  I can learn from it easily (with matching crying sessions) and I’ll learn to appreciate him more and more.  Yes, he is old and sensitive but I can tolerate it to the extent that I don’t want to lose him as long as I live! 

THE COLD WAR ENDED PEACEFULLY AWHILE AGO! ^_^

I was thinking of posting an entry in my LJ yesterday but unfortunately, my parents didn’t allow me to use the pc because we came home late.  It has been a long time since we were together watching movie.  And it’s been a long time since we were complete again – with my brother.  I’m really happy!  I’m really close with him but when he moved out, our ties nearly die out.  It’s because my brother had his family on his own.  But yesterday, wow!  It’s like were back in the old days when we used to hit each other, intimidate each other, and laugh together.  We watched the movie “Narnia” and “Kung Fu Panda” (Ayos! Two movies in one day!).  When we were watching “Kung Fu Panda”, me and my brother were the noisiest persons inside.  Haha!  My mom pinched me (don’t ask where) saying, “Ano ba para naman kayong mga bata!”  But I really enjoyed it.  Time is running fast.  It was 10 pm, we’re eating at Tokyo Tokyo (kasi daw di ramdam ang rice crisis dun), when my brother stood up suddenly saying, “Kelangan ko na palang umuwi baka magalit si Jane (his wife)!”  Well, I came home gloomy.  I know my brother is making sure to spend quality time with us, especially to me, because next month he’ll be leaving for Singapore.  It makes me cry knowing that soon he’ll be far away from me.  I will miss him so much.  We recall the “crazy acts” we do when we were kids.  Our parents were always at work when we were young that’s why we were very close.  So I’m still looking forward with another “bonding moments” with him.  Another thing that made me gloomy yesterday is the migration of my childhood best boy bud and sweetheart.  Haha!  I remember him giving me flowers when I was in Kinder.  He’s in Preparatory by that time but we became classmates in Grade 1 because I was accelerated.  At take note ang flowers na binibigay nya saken ay ARTIFICIAL!  Sweet noh?  Haha batang-bata!  I remember when we always have our Chamber Theatre, he was always the leading man and I’m the leading lady because we were used to being together kaya wala ng hiyaan.  It’s a good thing because up to our teenager years, even though separated, we still have our communication.  When we have time, we hang out with other friends.  But now that he’s in Canada, communication will be very limited and we don’t have a chance to hang out together.  He texted me yesterday saying that in a couple of hours he’ll be leaving.  All I can say is “okay keep in touch” when I really mean to say more.  Haay!  I just realize that it is very important to show to your loved ones how you really feel about them – show their worth in your life!  You never hold them, they can leave if they have to and you can’t do anything about it.  That why it is important to spend time with them.  You can’t buy time because you only have ‘now’.  At least I’m glad that they have good memories with me and vice versa.  It worth remembering!  It’s true that we may be physically far from them but emotionally you know you’re not.  And if you really value your relationship with each other, you’ll find ways on how your ties can be connected.  Kaya mag-friendster na!  Haha joke!  That’s it for now.  I don’t want to prolong my entry because there’s thunder kelangan nang patayin ang pc! Hehe! Ciao!